Christmas Season Faves and Rants

My favorite things I like Christmas lights. They put me in a good mood. I’m talking about a few strings of lights tastefully placed on a house or shrubbery. I do not mean those gaudy monstrosities (complete with plastic light-up Santa Claus & reindeer suspended on the roof) that quadruple the electricity bill and cause traffic jams from all the gawkers.

I like Christmas music. It makes me happy. I listen to it all year. ‘Joy to the World’ sounds good to me whether it’s in a classical setting, a jazz arrangement, gospel rendition, instrumental interpretation, et cetera.

One of my earliest memories is being about five years old and singing ‘Venid Pastorcillos’ (Away in a Manger) for the children at an orphanage.

Rants I hate the crowds at stores. I hate the stressed-out state people whip themselves into trying to have a perfect Christmas. They are the same ones who get frustrated because happiness cannot be purchased with a credit card. Christmas should be about spending time with family and counting your blessings, not trying to impress people with expensive gifts they do not need and you cannot afford. Fewer people would dread the holiday if it were approached differently.

The Carol of the Drum has got to be one of the most unrealistic songs ever. What woman in her right mind would allow some dirty street urchin to come and bang a drum in the presence of her newborn baby? I can’t possibly be the only person to have ever thought of that. Were I Mary I’d be like, “You want to do what?? No, I’m trying to get Jesus to fall asleep. Thanks anyway. You’re making the animals nervous. Don’t be startin’ no stampede. Run along.” And if he insisted I would be forced to throw a dried goat turd at him or let loose some colorful language. Must have been a childless hermit (male, of course) who wrote that gem.

While we’re on the subject of music, Jingle Bells, Let it Snow, Frosty the Snowman, Sleigh Ride and Winter Wonderland should be sung from December until March because they are winter songs. Not one of them mentions Christmas sacred (Christ’s birth) or secular (Santa Claus). Don’t believe me? Check out the lyrics. They should not be restricted to just the first 25 days of December.

Ooo, two rants in one day! For whatever it’s worth, these Christmas rants have been rolling around in my head for quite some time. They didn’t just pop up today because I’m cold and crampy.

Oh, and for Papi, Toad, SnowBaby84 and all those weirdos--I mean, people who prefer cold weather, winter officially begins tomorrow at 1:08 in the morning. Happy winter!